Reluctant Relocator: April 2012

For this post, my more observant readers will notice a different format. I wrote an article about this jaunt for "The Courier" magazine, which is published monthly by the Shanghai Expat Association. So here it is again, but with waaay more photos and, of course, my snarkastic comments.

Adoption Adventure
March11-17, 2012

by Elizabeth Patel

In the interest of privacy, only initials, not full names are used in this article.

Of all the surreal experiences I’ve had in China, this one surely topped them all. What was I doing in Taiyuan International Airport, scanning the crowd for my Canadian friend, J? How and why did we both end up in this Shanxi provincial capital, 683 miles northwest of Shanghai, my current home base, and 12 hours and half a world away from Toronto, my friend’s hometown?

J’s part of this story started four and a half years ago when she and her husband decided they wanted to add to their family. They’d already adopted a Canadian girl, and were looking to give her a sister so she wouldn’t be alone when they had…how to put this delicately?...shuffled off their mortal coils. Talk about planning ahead! Having heard about the girls in need of adoption in China, they started the lengthy and pricey process of overseas adoption. They connected with an agency in Canada, who in turn put them in touch with the appropriate people in China.

G’s path to adoption started in Taiyuan at the age of nine months. She was abandoned in the winter in a park. We presume her birth mother was unable to afford the surgery to repair G’s congenital heart defects. The desperation and despair her birth mother must have felt is unimaginable. Thank God G was found and brought to an orphanage where she received life-saving surgery. After living at the orphanage for a couple of years, G was moved to a foster home with foster parents and a much older foster sister, who all loved her very much and doted on her.

I come into the story July 2011. During my visit back home to Toronto last summer, J recruited me to be her China support person. Her husband had to stay in Canada to mind their first daughter and his business. With my bare bones language skills, I wasn’t sure how much help I’d actually be, but my friend was confident that with my experience in country and my strong mother energy, as she put it, we’d be fine. I was honoured to be asked to assist in such a personal chapter of someone’s life history.

I’ll spare you the mind-numbingly boring details of the forms J and P had to fill out, the interviews they had to undergo, the fees they had to pay and the nail-biting anxiety as they waited and waited and waited. My friend and her intended daughter’s guardians exchanged photos and letters. J waited some more. After a few teases, she was finally able to email me and triumphantly announce, “We have a date for the adoption!” Excitedly, she made plans to fly from Toronto to Beijing, spend a couple of days there, then go on to Taiyuan. I met up with J there, arriving a mere half-hour after she did on Sunday, March 11.

J’s guide met at us at the airport and drove us to the hotel. She and I had the day to ourselves to unpack and catch up. I was constantly doing double takes, trying to wrap my head around the fact that she, my friend from Toronto, and I were both in Taiyuan, China. Bizarre!

When the next day came, I felt the full weight of its importance. This was to be the first time that J and G would meet face-to-face. The guide came in the morning to take us the government building. J was the model of composure. I don’t know how she did it. We were escorted upstairs to the adoption office. Surprisingly, there were three other Western families meeting their adopted children as well. I think their presence, plus the paperwork, provided distractions for J, while I was busy photographing and videoing the momentous occasion. To be honest, the actual meeting felt a little anti-climactic, but that was probably just as well. I think if we’d been more aware of its history in-the-making nature, the first time together might’ve been completely overwhelming.

After signing many documents and having official pictures taken, J was able to leave the government building with G in tow. The two of them were meant to spend the next 24 hours together. They needed to start the bonding process and get to know each other. This time also provided a cooling-off period. There had been instances where parents-to-be experienced “buyers’ remorse” or the adopted child was not exactly as billed in terms of behaviour or health issues. The three of us went back to the hotel. J and G watched G’s Pleasant Goat cartoon DVDs and played tea party. Later, we all walked to Pizza Hut for dinner. There were some tears, naturally, but all in all, the day went surprisingly smoothly.

Having weathered the initial 24 hours, we returned March 13 to the government building to make the adoption official. That’s when the impact of what J had finally been able to realize hit me. I couldn’t help but get choked up as I watched her sign the paperwork that would make G her daughter. As I snapped the photos marking the event, my heart was gripped with the thought that these two people were now forever connected. Leaving the office, J and I thought we would go celebrate at a “fancy” Western-style restaurant. I tell you, we are so spoilt in Shanghai. The rest of the day was spent relaxing at the hotel. Both J and G needed time away from the relentless, but friendly, questions of the locals. Despite the fact that approximately 130 children are adopted each year from Taiyuan, the “mixed couple” was a target of many curious stares in the downtown streets.

We still had a few days while we waited for the finalization of paperwork. Having had our fill of Pleasant Goat cartoons, we made a day trip to Pingyao, a carless ancient walled city and UNESCO World Heritage site. As we explored the streets, we reveled in the slower pace and calm atmosphere. For those of you who have been to any of Shanghai’s nearby water towns, the ambiance is very similar. Instead of canals though, Pingyao has streets.

Our second to last day, March 16, was spent at the incredible Tianlongshan, home of numerous grottoes and the Manshan Pavilion, a building that clings to the mountainside. The Manshan Pavilion alone is worth the climb up and down all the stairs. G was a good sport and gamely made it down to the pavilion, but staged a sit down strike when it came to going down any further to see the old village. If she ever returns to her original hometown, she’ll have something to see.

The next morning J and I packed and said our good-byes. We parted ways; I was going to Shanghai, she and G were flying to Beijing, and then returning to Canada once G’s Canadian passport had been issued. J and I are already anticipating my summer visit to Toronto. For J, the couple of month’s wait is nothing. She’d just finished the longest wait of her life! Four and a half years is a mighty long gestational period, but in the end, worth every single second.

Flying into Taiyuan.
Definitely a different landscape than the flat river plain of Shanghai.

Our hotel room

Cute and available for purchase.

The bed they set up for G.
Awww!!!

The non-descript government building

Blind street musicians on Taiyuan's high street.

The bustling metropolis that is Taiyuan.
I knew I was in a second tier city when there was no Starbucks to be found.
Thank heavens for the international cuisine of Pizza Hut.

Welders working on a new building.
Safety first...good thing that protective piece of cardboard was industrial grade!

A truck carrying coal, a very familiar sight in Taiyuan.

Pingyao

First, some info before I show you any more photos. Yes, I realize you can "cheat" and scroll through this, but I'm hoping your curiosity will get you to at least scan this bit from the UNESCO website. I'm so glad for cut and paste.

Brief Description

Ping Yao is an exceptionally well-preserved example of a traditional Han Chinese city, founded in the 14th century. Its urban fabric shows the evolution of architectural styles and town planning in Imperial China over five centuries. Of special interest are the imposing buildings associated with banking, for which Ping Yao was the major centre for the whole of China in the 19th and early 20th centuries.

From "The Courier" magazine, more information. OK, I lied about ~~forcing~~ encouraging you to read just a little before more photos. This article was written by Christopher Patti, owner of Sojourner Travel, Shanghai.

Pingyao is arguably that best preserved example of Imperial China today. As one of the three cities that still retains its original city wall, everything within those walls remains in its original state. Its streets are paved in stone, and it sports numerous mini-museums highlighting everything from distillation, weapons, postal systems, and banks. [With a small child in tow, J and I skipped all these mini-museums.] During the late Qing Dynasty, it was the financial centre of China, and was largely responsible for the implementation of modern banking in China.

Some of the four thousand preserved residences have been converted into traditional Chinese guesthouses. [Didn't see these either, only the exteriors.] Many of those sport traditional Chinese beds, complete with chambers underneath where hot coals are placed to keep [one] warm on winter nights. Certainly the highlight...is the city wall. Six kilometres in length and twelve metres high, the wall boasts over 3,000 battlements and 72 watchtowers. [That we did see!] One can imagine its prowess as a defensive fortification.

O.K. now we will continue with the photos. Good job reading!

For those of you who are keeners, check out Wikipedia for more history and facts http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pingyao_County It truly is fascinating. Really. It almost makes me want to go back again and see the stuff I didn't make it to this time. Maybe we should have left the kid at the hotel...I'm sure she wouldn't have had any abandonment issues at all...

I wasn't expecting a church.

Local flavour for the holy water holder.

(Catholic friends, please help me out. What is this thing called?)

Carving with some kind of significance that was lost on me.

The Nine Dragon wall
Originally built in the Ming Dynasty and housed in a temple,
this one is a nice reproduction.

Close up

An archway
Yeah, that's it...an archway...

A temple, yeah...a temple....

O.K! This one I do know! It's a car gate!

Bikes can get over...
...but not cars.
Love it!

Ping Yao is still inhabited by 50,000 residents, like this woman and her grandchild.

Lane way

Another archway

Door
Great colours

Detail above door
My photo doesn't do justice to the painted scenes.

Modern meets old
Youths engrossed in a video game.

Another door with its detail

Street scenes

Notice the lack of wiring
Actually just noticed that myself. Really.

Cut outs for sale

A woman with her "minkey".
I didn't want to get too close in case a) the "minkey" jumped on me
b) she charged me for the photo!

The Market Tower, 14th century

Shops with wonderfully shaped windows

Pelt from an animal not found in nature.

New on its way to looking old

A divided door with red paper couplets left over from Chinese New Year.

Paper flowers to mark the death of one of the inhabitants.

I can only read the first character (one) and the last (good)

The South Gate

Closer

Hangin' out

Notice the centuries-old ruts

If these walls could talk...

A very rare sight in China,
wide, open, uncrowded spaces.

The thrilling landscape during the drive back to Taiyuan
Your choice of this...

...this...

...or this.

Can't say there wasn't any variety!

The next day we decided to go to Tianlongshan. We had to get out. The thought of facing another day in the hotel room trapped with Pleasant Goat (Chinese cartoon about a family of goats and their nemesis, Big Big Wolf) was more than we could bear. Road trip!

Here's info on Tianlongshan. I have to confess guys, I'm starting to lose steam writing this particular post. The end is in sight! Stay strong!

Tianlongshan Grottoes (天龙山石窟; Tiānlóngshān Shíkū), (40 km southwest of Taiyuan. Best reached by car. A bus runs from Wuyi Square in Taiyuan to Qingxu, which is the nearest major town to the grottoes.). 7:30AM-6:30PM. Tianlongshan Grottoes is a series of 25 caves carved into the mountainside of Tianlong Mountain and well known among Chinese art experts for the fine Buddhist statues and decorations which were sculpted within. The earliest of these caves were built during the Eastern Wei Dynasty (534-550), and additional caves were added in the Northern Qu, Sui, and Tang Dynasties. Grottoes 2 and 3 are the oldest in the complex, dating back nearly 1500 years. The largest and most impressive grotto is the ninth one, a multi-storied cave with several large Buddha statues and covered by an intricate three-story wooden pavilion, the Manshan Pavilion.

Thanks, Wikitravel.

Something you don't see much of in Canada, but is mandatory in China,
gas station attendants who are the only ones allowed to touch the pumps. Why?
They also don't like their pictures taken. My bad.

Bizarre "hazy" sunny weather made for unclear shots heading up the mountain.